Less than 5 years into her career, Ayumi Hamasaki was already at the top of her game. Her first three albums A Song for ×× (1999), LOVEppears (1999), and Duty (2000) had already skyrocketed their way to #1, selling over a million copies each and producing an unbreakable string of top 10 hits, including six chart-toppers. As 2001 came around, Ayu showed no signs of stopping with the release of her first greatest-hits album A BEST and a roll-out of singles leading up the release of her fourth studio album I am.... However, during the creation of the album, tragedy struck in New York City on September 11, a city which Ayu had so famously visited previously for vocal lessons she refused to take and the photoshoot for her album LOVEppears, when two hijacked planes struck the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center causing the collapse of both. The gruesome events of 9/11 then caused Ayu to reevaluate the artistic direction of her album to reflect a more positive attitude, touching upon themes of peace, hope, and love, as well as a more mature sound in comparison to her previous albums.
Rather than beginning the album with an introductory instrumental track like she had done in all her albums up to this point, I am... begins with a full-length track, which as a matter of fact, is also the title track of the album. "I am..." serves as a prelude to the album of sorts, differing sonically from the rest of the songs of the album as it is on the slower side. It's not a ballad either and there is a sense of angst to it that I can infer is attributed to Ayu's sense of frustration towards the World at the time. It makes a lot of sense for this to be the opening track, as the following songs on the album are much more upbeat, with the transition into the next section of the album being aided by the first interlude "opening Run," and let me tell you, what a track this is! I feel like Ayu's interludes have always been a highlight of her albums because you can tell she and the people that help her make her albums put the same effort into the interludes as they would a full-length track, and I really appreciate that. Sometimes, I wish said interludes were full-length tracks, and I think Ayu must've reciprocated that sentiment since she released an extended mix of this song as a B-side track on the single "Daybreak."
The second part of this album is what I would consider one of the most insane track runs of all time. Some of the most well-known, as well as the best, songs on this album are in this run. These songs are so fucking good Lois, and they go amazing together as well. The way "evolution" goes into "Naturally"? *chef's kiss* Speaking of which, "Naturally" has to be one of thee best songs I have ever heard, not just from Ayu, but in general. There is something so euphoric about it, which paired with the energy in which Ayu sings the lyrics wakes up something within my SOUL... If you're only going to listen to some of the songs from this album (which... really?) have them be tracks 3 to 7. "Connected," "UNITE!," "evolution," "Naturally," "NEVER EVER..." There are simply not any words that I could say to describe how great these songs are. I need you to go scroll down and click one of the links I added and listen to these songs yourself while you read this because I need you to understand how good these songs are. SPOILER ALERT but this run of songs is godly enough to warrant me already giving this album a 10 IDGAF!! The one thing I will say about this part of the album is that, while still great songs, "still alone" and "Daybreak" kinda break the perfect streak just a teensy bit for me, but not by a significant amount because, like I said, they're still amazing tracks... just not to the same level as the songs I had previously mentioned.
I am... then slows down a bit as we are guided into the third and final section of this album with the interlude "taskinlude," which would be the first out of several Tasuku-produced "task" interludes in Ayu's discography, which is then followed by the ICONIC, the LEGENDARY, the GODLY song that is "M." Although it has previously been featured on A BEST, I am so glad that it was also added to this album. I genuinely believe the Holy Spirit possessed her or something when she was making this track because I feel like I can literally hear the voice of Jesus when I listen to it... and I'm not even Christian!! It is so magical, it is so dramatic, which is something I've always loved about Ayu's music: she's never been afraid to get theatrical! Listening to "M," I feel like I am being transported to another plane of existence... it is THAT good (and the remix is just as amazing.). I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. A song that I do sometimes get a little tired of hearing is "A Song is born." I know that this isn't particularly a favorite within Ayu fans, but I personally don't hate it. I can see however how a lot of people may not find this song appealing. It's slow, high pitched, and it's long. Actually, this version of the song is different to the one found on the single as it doesn't feature KEIKO on it and has small changes in the production. It's not a drastic difference, but (AS MUCH AS I LIKE KEIKO) I'm glad that they made a solo version because I'd be lying if I said the duet version wasn't giving very much Christina Aguilera x Demi Lovato "Fall in Line" screamfest 16 years before it happened, with less vocally gifted singers. No shade to Ayu or KEIKO, Ayu is mother and I like KEIKO, but I'm just being #REAL, and sometimes the duet version can be a tad too much for the ears.
As we approach the end of the album, we are greeted to yet another Ayu classic, "Dearest." This is probably one of Ayu's more well-known songs outside of the J-Pop sphere since it was included as the ending theme for Inuyasha, which is cute. I've never watched the show since I don't really watch anime, but I'm glad that this song gets the love it deserves because of it because it really is a gorgeous song. I know I called Ayu a "less vocally gifted singer" in the last paragraph BUT! when she puts her heart into a song (which is a lot of the time) it really shows because "Dearest" probably has one of Ayu's best recorded vocal performances in her discography. Ayu may not be a technically good singer, but one thing about her? She will always make sure to put her soul and her emotions into any song she sings! And that's something that has captivated me about her ever since I listened to her for the first time. Things mellow out as the album comes to a close with "no more words" and the ~gone with the wind ver.~ of "Endless sorrow." I don't usually listen to "no more words" unless I'm listening to the album front to back, but it's a very pretty song, and I really like the placement of it on the album. The ~gone with the wind ver.~ of "Endless sorrow" though? CHOP. I really don't understand why they couldn't just include the original mix on the album. They could have made it work if they included it somewhere between "NEVER EVER" and "Daybreak." I get that maybe it was because so many of the songs were singles it would be good to remix one of them to create more incentive to buy the album (something which was very common in J-Pop at the time), but if they had to do it, I don't understand WHY they had to turn the masterpiece that is "Endless sorrow" into infomercial music. Saying all that, it's not terrible. But boy is it a downgrade from the original. I feel like this is the closest thing the album has to a miss, which is really a shame because I am... is an otherwise perfect album. I'm still giving this album a 10 though LOL. Oh, but you thought the album was over? WELL NO! After a few moments of silence, Ayu comes back one last time with the hidden track "flower garden." She had previously done this before with "kanariya" on LOVEppears, but I think I like the dynamic "flower garden" brings to I am... a bit more, since it's kinda the sonic equivalent of blasting an airhorn in somebody's ear when they're asleep. "flower garden" is upbeat, it's fun. It's a nice pick-me-up at the end of the album when so many of the tracks in this part of the album were ballads. It is on the short side, and it ends pretty abruptly, though. It's no wonder then why Ayu would repeat the chorus of this song a million times when she performs it.
Overall, there is no denying it: I am... is a classic album in the J-Pop canon. I would say this and LOVEppears are probably two of the most essential albums to listen to not just if you're getting into Ayu's discography, but if you're getting into J-Pop in general. So many iconic Ayu songs are on this album that it almost feels like a Best album, and the non-single album cuts are just as great as well. This album is virtually perfect. Does it have its missteps? Well yes! But I feel like the general quality and cultural significance of this record and the songs that make it up, make up for the very few ones it has and then some. I am... serves as a testament to Ayu's prime, since a lot of people nowadays like to play in her face and seem to forget how legendary Ayu truly is as an artist and as a pop culture icon. It is important to note that this is also Ayu's first project in which she had a hand in composing the songs, under the pseudonym CREA, which also makes I am... a significant milestone in Ayu's career. If you want a taste of Ayu's prowess as a musician, as well as the reason as to why she had such a grip on Japan in the early 2000s, as far as original albums go, I am... is a must-listen, and I don't think I can recommend it enough.
